Kissing Booth

 

Kissing booth

25 cents

Put your lips on hers

But at who’s expense?

Fireworks in your mind

Your lips part

Your eyes meet.

There was for sure a spark

Next in line pushes you away

Back to reality

But in this moment you stay

The fair comes to an end

The glow of the Ferris wheel is no longer

She leaves with a friend

You’ve never felt more somber.

How could she kiss all those other guys?

Didn’t your moment affect her too?

You think to yourself,

“I wonder what else she can do?”

You lay in your bed

Your mind goes wild

Can’t get her out of your head

Can’t stop thinking of her smile

The look on her face as you pulled away

God, there had to be something!

No one just kisses you with such heat.

Why didn’t you say anything?

You idiot! You didn’t speak.

She kissed like, 100 people tonight

Besides, you’re not worth remembering

Awkward, gangly, uptight

And now your hands are trembling

What is it with these other guys?

Out, playing women like Friday night home games

Are they there when their girlfriend cries?

Or are they just in it for fame.

“I totally nailed the head cheerleader”

Locker room banter

You’d never deceiver her

But you’re just a blip on the radar.

What if you could change

Show the suave, debonair man inside?

A change of clothes

Maybe a few crunches at the Y?

Reality check

“She’s All That” wasn’t based on true events.

So you turn on your side

It definitely was a night

New feelings, new senses

And, hey you’re still young

But if you find 25 cents,

Tomorrow you’ll use tongue.

Survive

Eight years, one month and twenty-two days

An estimate of when I felt this way last.

For purpose of proper explanation

Hesitantly, I visit my past.

If ever I made a wrong decision

Feeling comfortable here reigns first.

Lost in a familiar location

Surely, this place is cursed.

Silently, it crept into my soul

Violently attacking full force

A sickness began to run through my veins

The virus then took its course.

It felt the need to change me.

It was its sole duty to uphold

Nothing can undo what damage was done.

No one can melt this cold.

At a loss for words I lay here.

Eyes bulging, mouth gaping wide

Struggling beyond my own human strength

Just to prove I can survive.

A Lament of Loneliness

I’ve watched the color of his eyes fade away

What once was green has turned a shade of grey.

Sometimes I ponder on what could have been

Most times, those kinds of thoughts lead me back to him.

 

Sweet, sweet melancholy,

Wrap me in your arms.

Keep me in your dark comfort

Protect me from his harm.

 

Memories appear on every shadow cast,

Oddly, I am here to forget my past.

Everyday seems to be exactly the same.

I feel I only have myself to blame.

 

Darling misery,

A friend to call my own

If you love company

Why am I alone?

 

Often, I imagine his face next to mine

I sleep alone right beside a wasted piece of time.

Why do I submit myself to his torment?

Images burnt into my personal lament.

 

Fix

Black and blue but perfectly fine

Carefully, I inspect myself in the mirror.

I’ve was warned by you, but now it’s my time

My destiny couldn’t be clearer.

 

“You let me do this to you;

You did this to yourself.”

 

A furrowed brow, an unpleasant frown,

Eyes blistered and stained from tears

Here and now as I wander the town

I’m ready to face my fears.

 

“You let me do this to you.

You did this to yourself.”

 

Abrasive sounds of my ragged breath,

My heartbeat pounds in my ear

I hit the ground and hold my chest

My eternity pulls me near

 

I let you do this to me

I did this to myself

I drank it in yet didn’t see

I’d become something else.

 

Only Natural

Sometimes, I wonder what I am

Joy and power came to me when I ran.

At times, I wonder if I ever will be free?

These days it’s harder just to be.

 

Clock ticks, hands move slowly back and forth

Heartbeats bring me back to where I was before.

Tremors of hands and jerking of knees

Seizing, I’m giving up the will to breathe.

 

Standing, now I am on my own.

Lost, searching for a way to go.

Questions and answers both fade away

Confusion leads me to a position where I stay.

 

Tubes and wires keeping me alive

In this dormant state how will I survive?

Strings and stitches holding it together

Scars, I’m told stay with me forever.

 

Ocean breeze guides me to the sand

Nature gently takes me by the hand

Sunlight sends my eyes to tears

Water, wash away my fears.

 

Months pass, still locked inside this place.

Shadows graze a hand upon my face

Voices whisper words I do not recognize

Trembling, I open up my eyes.

Slipping

Two more steps and I’m out of this darkness

Clawing, pushing and pulling

Something’s holding me back.

Grasping for something to climb on

I want to move forward

But I’m tied to my past.

 

Slipping back into memories

The kids point and laugh at me…

They keep pushing me down.

What is this force that I don’t see?

Chained to my hands and feet

I just want to go now.

 

The girl you used to know who used to pick flowers

She’d play outside for hours,

She’d come when you’d call.

That girl is now locked up inside of me,

Caged in her misery

She gave up after the fall.

 

Falling out of my consciousness

The moments are slipping by

I’m locked in my brain.

Inside, a battle still wages on

It’s still me against her

These feelings remain

 

The sweet child, the happy one

She’s not taking messages

You can yell all you want, she’s not coming home.

The young girl you once knew

She’s distorted and broken,

Don’t knock she won’t answer; she just wants to be alone.

 

I can’t make it go away

Try to forget what they’ve done

Memories fleeting in the back of my mind

A voice inside of me keeps on screaming

“Don’t give up! Keep fighting,

This is not your time.”

 

Passive Thank You Notes

“Passive Thank You Notes”

 

Thank you for making me humble

I no longer have any pride

Thank you for making me transparent

I have nothing more to hide

Thank you for taking my innocence

I’m seasoned at being a fool

Thank you for taking advantage of me

I was happy to be just a tool

Thank you for making me worthless

Our time together was unreal

Thank you for making me numb to the world

Now I don’t have to feel

Thank you for making me tainted

No one likes pure anymore

Thank you for taking me for granted

I’m glad I could be your whore

Thank you for all of your promises

Everyone must earn trust

Thank you for your corruption

There was never love, just lust

Thank you for the pain you caused me

Scared, scorned, scarred and sick

Thank you for making me tougher

My skin has grown in rather thick

Thank you for making me stronger

I don’t need you in my life

Thank you for making me realize

I can live without being a wife