A Lament of Loneliness

I’ve watched the color of his eyes fade away

What once was green has turned a shade of grey.

Sometimes I ponder on what could have been

Most times, those kinds of thoughts lead me back to him.

 

Sweet, sweet melancholy,

Wrap me in your arms.

Keep me in your dark comfort

Protect me from his harm.

 

Memories appear on every shadow cast,

Oddly, I am here to forget my past.

Everyday seems to be exactly the same.

I feel I only have myself to blame.

 

Darling misery,

A friend to call my own

If you love company

Why am I alone?

 

Often, I imagine his face next to mine

I sleep alone right beside a wasted piece of time.

Why do I submit myself to his torment?

Images burnt into my personal lament.

 

Fix

Black and blue but perfectly fine

Carefully, I inspect myself in the mirror.

I’ve was warned by you, but now it’s my time

My destiny couldn’t be clearer.

 

“You let me do this to you;

You did this to yourself.”

 

A furrowed brow, an unpleasant frown,

Eyes blistered and stained from tears

Here and now as I wander the town

I’m ready to face my fears.

 

“You let me do this to you.

You did this to yourself.”

 

Abrasive sounds of my ragged breath,

My heartbeat pounds in my ear

I hit the ground and hold my chest

My eternity pulls me near

 

I let you do this to me

I did this to myself

I drank it in yet didn’t see

I’d become something else.

 

Only Natural

Sometimes, I wonder what I am

Joy and power came to me when I ran.

At times, I wonder if I ever will be free?

These days it’s harder just to be.

 

Clock ticks, hands move slowly back and forth

Heartbeats bring me back to where I was before.

Tremors of hands and jerking of knees

Seizing, I’m giving up the will to breathe.

 

Standing, now I am on my own.

Lost, searching for a way to go.

Questions and answers both fade away

Confusion leads me to a position where I stay.

 

Tubes and wires keeping me alive

In this dormant state how will I survive?

Strings and stitches holding it together

Scars, I’m told stay with me forever.

 

Ocean breeze guides me to the sand

Nature gently takes me by the hand

Sunlight sends my eyes to tears

Water, wash away my fears.

 

Months pass, still locked inside this place.

Shadows graze a hand upon my face

Voices whisper words I do not recognize

Trembling, I open up my eyes.

Lust Love Lost

“Lust Love Lost”

I have become unobtainable.

I saw you before I looked

I wish I never saw you at all

I fell in love with a crook.

I want it so bad,

My loneliness grows

Will you come back?

My worrying shows

It shows on my face

It shows in my clothes

I’m shutting down fully;

Mind, body and soul.

I started to care

I started to cry

I started to live

I’m starting to die.

Lust Love Lost

I’ll never love again.

If I shall

(I shall not)

I pray it a sin.