Til’ Death Partner

to the end  In 2004, I took this photo for extra credit in art class.  My intent (then) was focussed on this young girl, mourning the loss of parents.

10 years later, I found this photo in a box.  Of course, my instinct was to roll my eyes at my past teenage angst.  After that reaction, I kinda just stared at it.  Something was off.

Upon reviewing the photograph, my eyes were drawn to the dates on the joined headstone. This couple died 9 days apart from each other.  Nine days isn’t enough to mourn.  It’s as if they promised they would be together always.

Call me sentimental, but I hope someday I will find my til’ death partner.

Do You Believe in Magic?

magicWhen you’re young, anything is possible.  Your mind is vulnerable and open. I used to believe that dolls could really come to life when I wasn’t looking.  Even as an adult, I have the slight feeling that they are more than plastic.  It’s the emotion that is put into them.  The memories of that first toy and the adventures it went on.  Where are those toys now? Wouldn’t you love to know what they would be like if they were capable of talking? “Remember that time we went to the beach?  I loved living in that sand castle.” The comfort of a teddy bear’s hug is no longer enough.  Now we crave the attention of humans.  Unlike the inanimate object that absorbed the emotion and stories we created for them, adults ask for opinions; we want answers.  The veil of magic no longer exists.  As we grow older, magic is less and less impressive.  We can see that he is wearing a coat for a reason.  Where else would the birds come from? When you were a child, did you really care what the color of your neighbor’s skin was?  Or why a family had two mommies?  I don’t recall (in my lifetime) questioning their worth.  All I saw was a friend.  Love.  More people to hear stories from. What would you say if you could go back in time?  Would you tell your child self to sit up straight?  Don’t eat candy?  Would you dare tell them that two mommies is wrong?  Imagine your child self’s reaction.  I know my first word would be: Why? Children are innocent.  They are raised to become the adults we know today.  If I were to give my child self advice I would say, “Never lose faith in yourself.  Stay true to who you are.”  I wouldn’t say anything about my beloved dolls.  That would be wasting breath.

“You are not a …

“You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake.” -Fight Club

Harsh words.

I would like to talk about bullies.  You know-those big, scary, cold hearted people lurking in the shadows that make your life miserable?  What is their motive?  Maybe they are jealous.  Maybe they are angry about something in their life that they need to physically vent on a pencil neck geek.

I’m not going to support bulling in any way shape or form.  I despise bullies.  I want them to suffer like they made me suffer. However, that would not make the world a better place.  Bullying is an epidemic.  It is a disease that causes permanent damage.  It has killed people.  The saddest part is that we are all bullies in some way. Maybe it’s not physical but in someway or another we all have bullied someone at one point in our lives.  This is not an attack.  Please hear me out.  Us humans have freedom of choice.  We have the ability to make our own decisions whether they are for good or not.  I find myself torn on an everyday basis to either defend myself or to hold it inside.  I am a bully.  I bully myself.  I beat the living daylights out of myself.  And what do I have to show for it?  I am considered “a good person.”  

There is no cure for bullies.  The only solution is to find a way to deal with it.  I have come to grips with the fact that I am flawed.  I may still have emotional bruising but I accept myself.  Flaws make the world work.

So I guess Tyler Durden has a point in Fight Club.  We are not what we have been told as children. So what if we aren’t “beautiful or unique.”  We all have ugly issues of the same kind.  Accept it.  Own it. Love it.

No go kick some ass.